


Atlas

by worldofnight



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Larry - Fandom, Larry Stylinson - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, liam payne - Fandom, lourry - Fandom, niall horan - Fandom, zayn malik - Fandom, ziam - Fandom
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Smut, american!louis, british!Harry, road trip au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 14:37:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11922993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worldofnight/pseuds/worldofnight
Summary: Harry is innocent, naive and on a road trip trying to find himself after losing his mom.Louis is jaded and in a toxic relationship with a closeted politician.Niall is Harry's well meaning but clueless best friend and Zayn is Louis lazy conspiracy theorist roommate who falls in love with rich well to do Liam.





	1. Sunsets & Silhouette Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my wonderful beta's scrantonlou & britpickerhl , they're the real heros here. This story contains smut, fluff and everything inbetween. Atlas is my love letter to road trips , seaside cottages, and falling in love.

There was something about the glow of a sunset that made him feel less empty inside. The sun filled him with warmth as he drove into the horizon. Driving became like a spiritual experience, it reminded him of sunday morning church services with his mother.

He remembered the looks of happiness and wholeness on her face as she worshiped there. He never could channel that for himself, being happy and whole. Driving into sunsets was as close as he’d gotten so far. 

Accompanying him were nothing more than a rucksack full of clothing, a few hygiene products, an ipod, a tattered leather bound journal, and his car. 

It was his 18th birthday present, a restored 1957 corvette stingray, Tiffany blue with white details. It looked like it stepped straight out of a time machine. The car couldn't have been a more perfect fit. His mother knew he needed a car as unique and dapper as him.

When he saw it, he fell in love, maybe for the first time. He didn't drive it much the first few months for fear of a scratch or a ding, but time has a way of changing things. A year later and keeping the car clean was the least of his worries.The outside no longer shined with that gleam of new. Dust now gathered in all the places you'd expect, dried up dirt clung to the tires and everywhere around them. The car wasn't banged up or mistreated, just clearly warn from the miles it had been driven.

He realized that most days he felt a lot like his car- dirty, neglected, and not at all what it used to be. 

A loud grumble from his stomach brought him from his depressing reflection. A sign for fresh seafood seemed like just what he needed to wake him out of his wallowing.The dingey car pulled into the parking lot of a shanty restaurant.

He entered the kitschy dive and realised it was a ghost town, not a being in sight. He looked at the little podium there and noticed the "ring bell for service" sign along with the little bell he was meant to ring. 

He felt awkward summoning someone via a bell, he imagined it was quite demeaning, but this was the only sign for food he'd noticed. He worried it would be quite a while before he'd see someone again, and  he caved and rang the little bell anxiously.

Very anticlimactically, nothing happened.

He nervously waited a few more moments and rang again, still no response, until finally he decided to call out. 

“Hello, is anyone here? Sorry to bother you-” and with that, out came a burly older woman with auburn hair in a pirate wenches outfit, a fake parrot on her shoulder, and an eye patch to complete the look. 

"Ok, ok, hold your horses, I'm coming…” she said without even looking up. ” Hello and welcome to Sal’s blah blah pirate bullshit blah, the good soaps are on so whatta ya what,” the women said, gesturing for him to hurry up. She slouched and stared intently at him with her uncovered eye, waiting for a response.

Harry was a bit taken back. His brain seemed to shut down at the sight of the pirate lady.

"Uh...Hi… um, sorry about interrupting your...” he paused to think about what the next word out of his mouth even meant. 

“...soaps. I'm just here for a-" 

She stopped him mid sentence.

“Honey no need for a life story. Sit wherever you want and someone will take your order in a bit. In the meantime, help yourself to the soda machine," and with that she turned around and disappeared into the back.

He lifted his eyebrows, shrugged his shoulders and smiled a bit to himself.

Harry was used to dives. He had been driving through small towns all over the country and not every place could have four star restaurants but honestly, he wouldn't have it any other way.

Dives tended to have character and history, and at the very least they always seemed to make for a good entry in his journal. He kept it with him everywhere he went (another gift from his mom), and he made sure to note down everything he saw and experienced. He would attach little clippings or polaroids he’d take, and would always address the entries to his mom, telling her what happened, what he had seen, or who he had met. It made him feel closer to her.

He made his drink at the soda machine that was clearly meant for waitresses, then sat at a booth. He began flicking through the pages reflecting on some of the things he had written in his little book. He chuckled a bit at the funny and odd experiences he had, but he was saddened by the overall tone of his own writing. 

Reading back on it now, he realised his tone of longing and the loneliness. He shut the book quickly and furrowed his eyebrows. He didn't want to think about all the negative stuff bottled inside him. He had hoped that one day something would happen along the road and all the painful emotions would somehow go away or at least become less hurtful, but as he read his scribbled words he realized that the pain was still there and the sinking feeling that it always would be began to set in.

Just as he was contemplating walking out and just driving away again, a boy dressed from head to toe as Peter Pan burst through the door with a fiery attitude and loud mouth. The boy moved quickly, staring at his cell phone screen and talking as he went, completely oblivious to the room around him.


	2. Pixie Dust and Hard Liquor

"He’s so fucked Zayn, you don't know some of the shit he says to me behind closed doors,” he said, staring straight down at his phone. It's a wonder he didn't bump into anything. 

“I don't know honestly, I was so drunk that I couldn't even remember. It must have been bad though because there’s a blue tiffany box on the counter. I'm so exhausted with his shit,” he sighed.

Harry watched him standing there, his tanned cheeks flushed with anger as his blue eyes shimmered in the sunlight that peered through the small windows of the dust filled room. He was beautiful. Harry noticed bruise marks on his arms in the shape of fingerprints, a purplish blue ring under his right eye and his left arm in a sling. Someone had roughed him up. He just couldn't understand why anyone would want to hurt such a gorgeous creature. 

Just as Harry was inspecting every aspect of the strange boy, the auburn haired waitress came through the swinging door, stomping as she walked.

"God damnit, Louis. You're late again. We actually have people in here ya know, go prep the bar and wait on that chatty boy at table 11. Zayn's not coming in today, told Sal he’s got a cold,” she said rolling her eyes in disbelief.

"A cold. Yeah right.  If rolling at Nobu at 3 in the morning gives you a cold then *achoo*,” he said, faking a sneeze. 

“I guess I've got a cold too,” Viv rolled her eyes and threw her hands upwards, exasperated. 

“Anyway, what are you on about chatty boys, Viv. There's never anyone in this shitho-..." he said, eyes scanning the room until he saw Harry. 

The first thing he noticed was the boys brown locks, cascading down to his shoulders in ruffled curls. He’d never seen a boy with long hair that looked so messy and yet so perfect. A bit of his pale naked chest peaked through a yellow button down floral shirt. Even from halfway across the room, he could see the green in eyes pick up specks of the yellow top he had on his slender frame. The boy’s lips contorted into an awkward smile, and waved. There was something childish about him that Louis couldn't quite put his finger on.

His body and his wardrobe all seemed adult-like, but his vibe was that of a boy who dropped his pants all the way to his ankles when peeing, or laughed out loud when anyone said a dirty word. Louis half heartedly waved back, looking puzzled.

He moved in closer to Viv to conceal the rest of their conversation.

“Since when do we have customers midday, and since when do they look like hipster Gods?” Louis asked, turning back to Harry who had definitely heard the compliment and was now trying to conceal his ear to ear grin behind the large, oversized menu. 

“I don't know, and what did I tell you about those twatter words, as if I'm supposed to know what hipster means. I can't understand anything you say when you talk like that and even worse, you're interrupting Josie’s confession to Lyle, admitting that she’s the princess of Canada.”

Louis widened his eyes at her statement. “I'm not sure I even know where to begin with what you just said.” 

Viv continued, ”What the hell kind of get up are you even in? Why aren't you in your uniform? You know Sal’s gonna dock your pay again.” 

Louis sighed.  “Ok Viv let's start from the top. For starters; it's twitter. Twatter sounds like some low brow lesbian porn. Second, hipster isn't a twitter word. It's a general term for young people with skinny jeans that think they're cooler and…,” Louis shot a seductive look in Harry’s direction, “...clearly better looking than the rest of us. But moving on to the real issue here; those stories you watch. They're absolutely ridiculous! There is no such thing as a princess of Canada, unless you count Justin Bieber, and nobody does anymore. Come on Viv, I know you're smarter than that. Also, Peter Pan is pirate themed. Sal said I had to dress pirate themed, therefore I am in uniform.”

He straightened his hat as he finished, and stood in front of her with his arms crossed just like Peter would have done. Harry was really enjoying this display.

“How is Peter Pan pirate themed? Isn’t he the one who stole from the rich and gave to the poor?” 

Louis hung his head and shook it in disbelief.

“I literally don't even know how you’ve survived in the world this long. Robin Hood is what you're referring to. Peter Pan is the boy who never grows up. “

Viv still looked at him puzzled.

Louis added on, “Travels around with the lost boys and the little fairy tinkerbell...”

Viv shrugged her shoulders ,”I have no clue who you're talking about, but he does sound a lot like you; not growing up, running around with lost boys, traveling with fairies,” Viv laughed and patted Louis on the shoulder.

Louis shook his head and smiled at her. To others it may have seemed like an insult, but Louis knew Viv meant no harm. She may have been dumb but she was no bigot.

“Why do you think I like him so much?” he said with a wink.

They both shared a laugh, then parted ways as Louis continued to shake his head and smile at Viv’s ignorance.

He made his way over to the bar but peered around to watch her leave. As soon as she was out of sight he reached over the countertop and grabbed a bottle of rum and two shot glasses. He made his way straight over to Harry’s table with the bottle in tow and slid into the booth .


	3. The Lost Boys

Harry swallowed quickly and sat up straight, trying to conceal how nervous he was around a boy as good looking as Louis. 

“Hi, I'm Harry,” he said, stretching his hand over the table towards the blue eyed boy.

Louis looked down at Harry’s hand and chuckled.  _ “Definitely drops his pants to his ankles when he pees,”  _ Louis thought. 

Louis made finger guns at Harry. “Louis,” he stated matter of factly. 

Harry retracted his hand, feeling silly.

“What the hell are you doing in this shithole?” Louis asked, cutting right to the chase as he set up the shot glasses and began pouring himself one.

He pointed to the other glass raising his eyebrows toward Harry. Harry shook his head no. “Sorry, I'm driving.” 

Louis shrugged. “Well you're no fun.”

With that he knocked his shot down on the table then poured it down his throat making a twisted face after tasting the bitter drink.

There was a small, awkward silence, the kind of silence that Louis usually breaks with witty banter or a curse filled rant about something random, but something about Harry’s mild mannered exterior confused him. 

“Who shakes hands and sits up straight for anyone anymore?”

“I do,” Harry said proudly. “It’s just how I was raised,” he added quickly.

Louis stared at Harry as he spoke, as if he were some mythical creature. A man who tried being polite and making normal decent conversation, he might as well have been three headed dragon. 

He was able to see past his boyish good looks to notice that his eyes were a bit sunken and darkened underneath. Harry looked tired and worn. There was an innocence to him that Louis badly wanted to break, or maybe protect,he couldn't decide. He realised that Harry was just some lonely kid sitting in this shithole all by himself, which in of itself was pretty sad. So, Louis decided not to give him too much shit for being a bit different.

“Well... I guess that's kinda nice.” 

“Exactly, so let try this again,” Harry said, sitting up to extended his hand towards Louis. “My name is Harry.” 

Louis still reluctant, slowly placed his hand in Harry's. 

“Louis.” 

“Well now that that's all out of the way,” Louis said rolling his eyes, “let's get back to the important question. What are you doing here?”

Harry smiled at the boy, his green hat slightly tilted now, his skin flushed and soft. He had to put his hands in his lap to keep from stroking his cheek to feel the warmth that his smile seemed to radiate.

“Just passing through. In all honesty, I'm on this sort of road trip.” 

Louis poured another shot and squinted his eyes at Harry, giving him a suspicious look. 

“A sort of road trip... completely by yourself?” 

Harry nodded his head. ”Yeah, just me.”

“Where are you headed? I mean where does this lonely road trip end?” 

Harry shrugged. “I'm not sure exactly. I feel like I'll know when I get there.” 

Louis smiled a devilish grin. “Whatcha runnin from?” he asked, staring at the dark haired boy.

“What do you mean?” Harry asked, his smile fading.

“I mean- no one gets in their car with no destination for months on end just to see dives like this. They’re usually running from something. I would know…”  He was looking down at the bottom of his empty shot glass when he said the last bit.

Harry gazed at him, trying to find a proper sarcastic response, much like the others they had been exchanging back and forth, but he couldn't muster anything clever. 

“Guilt... I guess,” he said fiddling with his thumb ring.

Louis was pouring a third shot when Harry blurted that out. He didn't expect an answer. He had expected Harry to tell him something stupid like ‘I'm just exploring things’ or ‘I'm trying to find myself’. 

“Guilt. That's pretty deep,” Louis set the bottle and the glasses to the side so he could really look at Harry. 

“It's the truth. I don't lie, I have no reason to.” 

Louis grimaced. He wasn't buying this- not one bit. “So you don't lie, like at all?”

“No, I don't.”

“Everyone lies. You must have lied at some point, especially if you're running away from guilt. Lies are what tend to make someone feel guilty.”

Harry looked down at his hands folded in his lap. He thought about all the lies he'd ever told and how hard it was lying to people that he loved. Lying about who he was. Pretending for years to be something that he wasn't, it took a toll on him. Louis was right. He had lied, and he had lied a lot. Maybe that's why the truth came so easily now, he had no more dishonesty left in him. 

“You're right. I did plenty of lying, and now I'm done with it." Harry felt nervous and exposed, and felt the need to he had to deflect the conversation. 

“Well… since we’re playing 20 questions, what absolute twat would beat the hell outta Peter Pan?” Harry smiled,thinking maybe Louis got into a tousle at the bar or in some nightclub incident, but Louis’ change in expression and body language told him it was more serious. Harry regretted asking the question in the way that he did.

Louis leaned back and took a deep breath. He considered lying. He considered making this into some elaborate tale that was interesting and made him look tough or cool, but the fact that he'd never see Harry again after tonight made him feel that telling someone might be cathartic. 

“You're gonna eat your lobster here, probably take a grainy instagram photo of you standing in front of the ‘welcome’ and the ‘thanks for coming’ signs, leave and then never come back to this shitty little town right?”

Harry frowned, jutting out his bottom lip, “Yeah, I guess so.”

Louis nodded, “Right? So you want the juice.” 

Harry looked puzzled, “The juice?”

“The juice! You know; the dirt, the t ?” 

Harry still looked confused.

“You want the gossip! God, am I going to have to teach you everything?”  Louis said as he licked some of the spilt liquor from the shot glass. As Harry watched his tongue traced the rim, he thought of quite a few things he'd like louis to teach him. 

He cleared his throat , while trying to clear his thoughts. “No, it's not like that. I just want to…”  Harry paused; he wasn't sure if he wanted to continue or not. 

“You just wanna what?” Louis asked, noticing Harry watching him lick at the glass. He could suddenly feel the shift in the atmosphere. This was when he shined. There was a seductive glint in his eyes, turning the poor sap right in front of him into a puddle. He licked the rim again but as he did , he looked right into Harry’s eyes.

Harry saw the gleam in his eyes change. Was this flirting? Harry swallowed hard.

“I just want to get to know you,” Harry spilled out.

The gleam in Louis’ eye changed; now he looked confused. 

“What makes you want to get to know me?” 

“Well, I guess I don't know for sure but, I know from the moment you burst through that door I haven't stopped smiling. Just you being here right now is kind of wonderful, you seem special.” Harry said while looking down at his hands. He felt a twinge of embarrassment, not being able to say these thing directly to Louis. He felt so dumb, is this how you picked someone up? Maybe he should have tried a chat up line instead. 

Louis tried to study Harry. Most guys told him he was hot, sexy, irresistible .Here was a gorgeous man, seemingly intelligent even if he was dewy eyed and naive, complimenting him without ever bringing up his looks. No one had ever called him special before. It was nice, but felt a bit cheesy if he was being honest.  

“What are you? I mean who talks to someone for 20 minutes and just says all those things to them?” 

“I'm guess I'm just a great judge of character,” Harry said sipping his coke with not an ounce of regret on his face. 

Louis smiled and sighed, shaking his head fondly. “Not everyone thinks I'm special, Harry.” 

Without missing a beat, Harry responded, “Well they're idiots then. All this talk of you being so great has distracted us from the original question. Who beat up Peter Pan?” 

Louis smiled again. “Well, I guess I should just tell you, since you earned it with all those compliments.”

Harry leaned forward to listen carefully.


	4. Pain in Politics

“My ‘boyfriend’,” Louis frowned, making air quotes.

“He’s a big politician here, he's planning on running for some big political office next year… Mayor or Governor or something like that, I try not to pay attention to his work. And uh...” Louis paused and took a deep breath.

”He's married to....” He paused and started pouring again. “I don’t even know her name to be honest, and well… I kinda got beat up for him.”

“You got beat up  _ for _ him? Why?” Harry furrowed his eyebrows.

“Oh, this is the best part,” Louis said, his tone laced with sarcasm. 

“I decided to protest this anti-gay marriage rally that ironically enough he was leading,” he said, faking a laugh.

He laughed to take away the pain of how badly all of this sounded out loud. It was like a slightly better version of one of Viv’s soaps. He filled the shot glass to the rim and swallowed it quickly, trying to erase the fact that his life has become a sad sitcom. At least now if Harry judges him, the alcohol will form a mask over him. It gets just a bit hazy for a moment as he feels the warm tingly burn of Black Magic wave over him. 

Harry watched as Louis drowned his story in liquor, seeing that it obviously wasn't as light and funny as he had portrayed it to be. He was left wondering if he should just change the subject to spare Louis the embarrassment and pain, but he didn't want him to think he didn't care.

"Why'd they start beating you up, and why didn't he stop them?" 

Louis sighed.

"That guy’s a hypocrite, he's running on this whole platform of family values or some shit. I got fed up with being swept under the rug. He could always reach me but I could never reach him. Being someone's dirty little secret doesn't feel as good as it sounds.”  

Harry didn't like what he was hearing. Louis was stuck in a real life nightmare. He talked about it as if it were all okay, but it wasn't.

Louis continued. “I knew this big rally was coming up so I decided to show up with a few friends,” he paused, reflecting on the whole thing. 

“You know, he asked me afterward why I'd show up somewhere I knew I wasn't welcome and I told him that it was because I'd been planning to be there for months. He said that I was becoming an activist and blah blah blah. Now don't get me wrong, I believe in human rights, but I'm not the activist type. I was there to show him that I mattered, that he couldn't hide me away forever. Or maybe I just wanted to be seen in the same photos with him for once, even if it was a photo of me in handcuffs and little rainbow shorts.” 

Harry smiled at the thought of Louis in tiny little shorts, but immediately felt bad about it. Louis was pouring his heart out about this awful event in his life, he shouldn't be thinking about such unnecessary things.

“So how'd you end up with the black eye and the sling?” Harry asked.

“The rally went on for quite a bit, and look, I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the quiet type,” Louis said, wrinkling his nose. 

“We we're being shouted at and taunted so I started to taunt back. One of these bigoted pieces of trash looked like this guy I'd blown once at a club downtown.” 

Harry tried to keep himself from reacting, but the blood rushed to his cheeks quickly and he hoped Louis hadn't noticed. 

“So I start asking him if he’d ever been there, and then just straight up asked if it we're him. Suddenly he’s turning around to spit on me. I'm still not sure if it was the same guy but based on his reaction, who knows? It still sort of stuns me that the mere act of assuming someone is gay is enough to get you spit on.” 

Both Louis and Harry sat and reflected on that for a moment.

“As soon as the spit hit me, I lunged forward and punched the guy. I just fucking hit him as hard as I could. I was fed up being called a faggot all day. These people treated us like trash, and for what? Because I like boys. I just took all my frustrations out on him. I tried to hold my own but his friends jumped in and they got the best of me. I definitely hurt a few of them on my way down though,” Louis smiled to himself, staring at the shot glass and tracing the rim with his fingertips as he spoke.

Harry couldn't help but imagine tiny little Louis in tiny little shorts, swinging for the fences. But he shook it off quickly, staring across at the boy who winced, remembering where he’d been struck over and over again.

"So you're getting your ass whipped, and your boyfriend is just up at a podium getting a bird's eye view?" 

"I guess so. I hadn't thought of it like that before, but I mean there was so much security there for him, he was escorted away as soon as things started. His team of course blamed me for the whole thing and got a court order banning me from within 50 feet of him or any of his campaign endeavors. Which is hilarious, because as soon as I left the hospital he was waiting for me in a black SUV, took me home and uh, tended to my wounds,” Louis said, raising his eyebrows and fiddling with his shot glass, trying to seem shameless about the whole thing but was clearly self loathing. 

Harry was furious. Louis spoke about this whole thing like it was some long running joke, which in reality, it wasn't. 

”Why would you put up with that? You clearly could have any guy you wanted.” 

Louis stopped wallowing into his glass at Harry's words, his brain slowly processing what the other man was actually saying. 

“Why stick around for that? Why let him walk on you and lie to you and everyone else, only for you to let him take you home right afterward? He knew that was you getting stomped on in the crowd, and he just let it happen. You're so much better than that.”  

Louis was pissed  “You don't know me. How do you know I'm better? Sure, he’s a dick at times, but I showed up to  _ his _ rally that I knew wasn't for me or my bullshit. I got my ass kicked for running  _ my _ mouth and acting like a tough guy. What I did could have potentially ended his career. I could have caused him to lose years of work, or completely ruined his life.” Louis realized he was giving Harry the exact speech Teddy had given him that night. 

He hung his head and continued ,”I know he’s an ass, but you don't know me, or him. Don't come in here with you're pretentious british accent,and expensive floral blouse thinking you know anything about me or my situation.” 

Harry could see Louis was hurting. He couldn't believe that Louis would blame himself for that asshole’s behavior. 

“I never said I knew you, but  _ no one  _ deserves to be treated like that, no matter what. Don't accept that for yourself. You have to know that someone out there will love you, and take care of you and accept you. Have you just given up on that?” 

Harry softened his eyes. Louis’ hands were resting on the table with his eyes hung low, trying to appear angry, but Harry knew better. Louis was hurting and Harry could no longer resist his urge to comfort the broken boy. He rested his hand over Louis’ and began running his thumb over the back of his palm.

Louis closed his eyes at the heat of Harry’s skin tenderly grazing his own. For a moment he got lost in someone who seemed to actually care. It was as if the warmth of Harry’s thumb brushing across his hand was everything he had been longing for. A touch like that even in its simplicity and mediocrity felt like a solution to such a very complex problem. 

Louis did secretly long to be taken care of, to be truly loved. He looked at Harry’s face, hoping to see the same comfort Harry had in his touch, but instead saw the look he tended to emote from others; pity.

In a split second, he quickly drew his hands away from Harry’s.

His face became like stone; motionless in an angry glare. He shook his head, “Life isn't all unicorns and sunsets you know. You're naive, maybe even a little stupid. I can smell it on you,” he said, shaking his head, feeling his muscles tighten. “You don't have struggles, life hasn't chewed you up and spit you out yet. I came here just like you, looking to escape, to be free and independent. I thought that love and happiness would just float right into my lap and that all came crashing in pretty quickly. So now I hope for nothing anymore.” 

Harry felt horrible. He hadn't meant to upset Louis more. “I'm sorry… I-”

That puppy dog act was getting old, and all the alcohol and emotions had stirred up something ugly from inside him. Louis fumed, “You  _ what _ ? Speak up, then!”

Harry sat, mouth open trying to find words.

“That's what I thought. I'm sure you didn't mean to look at me like some sad fuck. Poor little Louis and his shit life. I don't need your pity. You don't know what you're talking about. You don't know me, you don't know what I deserve or what I want.” 

Harry was taken back. He meant everything he said. Why did believing in love, honesty, and empathy mean he’d never struggled? It certainly didn't mean he was stupid. It just meant he still believed. Louis had lost his faith in all that was good in the world and Harry wasn't ready to give up on his.

“You don't know shit about me either. But you know what I think? I don't think you're actually mad at me. I think you're mad at yourself. Maybe because you’ve given up, or maybe it's because you know you're worth more than this.” 

Louis was steaming at Harry’s reflection. “I know exactly what I'm worth. In dollars and cents. I've got bills and living expenses that a man like him with a lot to lose is willing to take care of, so,” Louis shrugged and slid from the booth, trying to exit this whole conversation.

“Wait,” Harry wasn't letting him go that easy.  “I thought we we're being honest here,” he took a big breath, “It's not about the money for you. Thats a cop out, you still believe in love because you still love him.”

Louis shook his head and turned back, “And what does it matter if I do?”

This was Harry’s chance.

“Look, I know life's not always rainbows and unicorns or whatever analogy you used. I may be naive but that doesn't make me stupid. You're wrong about me, because some pretty bad shit has happened to me. But I didn't let it change me into someone I wasn't. I erased people, left places, and threw away anything that made me feel like less than what I am. You might want to do the same, because it sounds like somewhere along the way you lost yourself and become this bitter angry version of the guy I see beneath those harsh layers. I see you, Louis, not for who you want me to see, but for the person you really are.”


	5. Come away with me

Louis was on the edge of the booth biting his lower lip, his eyes glossed, and a huge lump filled in his throat. “Who says that to someone they just met? Who are you?” 

Harry did realize it was a heavy thing to say to someone he’d just met, but he couldn't leave this place without giving Louis some of his hope back. “I'm someone who’s been scared, someone wanting acceptance, praying for love. Thinking maybe I hadn't found it because I wasn't worth it, but everyone deserves love and kindness.” 

Louis couldn't hold the tears in any longer. He slide back into the booth, knocking his back against the wall, looking toward the ceiling with wet eyes. The liquor was tossing his emotions all about in his head.

“It's my fault. He treats me this way because I let him. I pretend that nothing affects me, but it all does. I'm just as fragile as anyone else. I let someone steal my… my worth.” Saying that aloud was one of the hardest things Louis had ever done.

Harry had reached him, “You can get it back you know. You just have to get away from him.”

“Do you know how hard that is? He literally owns this town. He’s everywhere, and...” The next part was hard for Louis to mutter out. 

“I can't believe I'm admitting this but… I'm not strong enough to stay away. It's fucking pathetic.”

“You're not pathetic. You're in a tough but not impossible situation. Just pack up and go stay with a friend.  Are you from around here?”  Louis shook his head quickly. That was a whole other can of worms.

“Ok, then go home. It might be good to be around supportive people.”

“Supportive people,” Louis laughed, and there went the worms. He made a mental note never to touch black magic again. 

“I left home when I was 16 because they hated me for who I was. I come from an insanely religious family. It was all fine until I got caught kissing Stanley Lucas behind the dumpsters at church. You can't understand the way they looked at me after that. The whole town knew and my mother was mortified. Being the perfect family in front of everyone was far more important than actually caring for one another behind closed doors. She spent her nights praying on her knees by my bedside for God to change me, and the fucked up thing is for a long time I shared that prayer with her. Begging to be anything other than myself.”

Louis bottom lip quivered as tears slowly glided down his cheeks. Harry felt the pain of Louis’ story in his chest.

“Then one day I snapped, I was so tired of being told that I was an abomination. One night mom came in to pray her prayer for me, and I stood up and started packing my bags. She asked me what I was doing and I told her that I was ridding her of her problem. I wanted her to stop me, I wanted her to say ‘please stay and we’ll figure this out’. I wanted her to tell me that I was her son and that she’d love me no matter what. But she didn't she couldn't even look at me. She turned back to the bed clasped her hands together and prayed ‘God, keep my son safe on his travels, and if by your grace he is relieved of this iniquity may he return to me.’ My own mother wanted me to go. She put her own 16 year old son out into the world.”

Harry could barely breath listening to him.

“I've been told for as long as I can remember that I was nothing and that I'll always be nothing, and everything in my life has just proven that to me more. I won't get away, because I dont have the will.” 

A blanket of silence fell over them. The weight of Louis’ words sat heavy in the air. 

Harry thought of his journal, he thought of who gave it to him and the dedication that had been written on the very first page. A letter from his mother, her dying wish to him. Among the words written there was the sentence, ‘Don't let them snuff out your light.’ Louis’ light was being snuffed out, and the lonely words that filled that same journal proved that his was being snuffed out too. Harry’s next move wasn't well thought out. It wasn't logical, but Harry had to move fast or Louis would be engulfed in the darkness forever, and if he left that boy there in that place then maybe the darkness would suck him in too. He just needed the courage to speak. 

Louis sat in the silence of his confessions. He’d never told anyone these things, not even even his best friend. Maybe he held onto his true feelings for so long that he’d forgotten them til right now. Forgotten them until the curly haired boy with hope in his eyes pulled them out of him. But now that sweet boy sat in silence, with a pensive look on his face as if he were trying to find a way to leave politely. 

Maybe the adrenaline had worn off a bit of his buzz or maybe he’d just suddenly realized how much he’d unloaded onto a stranger but Louis was suddenly extremely self conscious. 

Louis stood up, straightened his hat and began heading toward the bar. 

“Well that certainly was fun but uh… I have a ton to do. It's swamped in here,” he said into the empty dining room. 

“No wait,” Harry grabbed his arm, causing Louis’ head to dart back towards him. Harry's chest was moving up and down quickly. He swallowed hard. 

“I've been driving this car by myself for so long that I forgot what it was like to connect with another human being. I know it sounds crazy and I know that we just met but I can't just leave you here like this.”

Louis looked confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Louis, you can't stay here anymore and keep doing the same things over and over again. I know you don't know me but we shared something here. We could both pretend that we didn't and move on once we leave, but I know that I'd always wonder.” 

“Wonder what?” Louis asked, his heart racing in his chest. 

“What had become of the boy dressed like Peter Pan? Where was he? Who he was with? Did he ever find love?” The words we're choking out slowly. He’d never said things like this to a boy before. 

Louis looked down and let his tears softly fall. 

“Louis I'm…” the choked words became cemented in his throat. 

“What?” Louis breathed out. 

Looking at Louis face, his eyes glazed over, he could see a glimmer of hope . No more holding back.

“I'm lonely. I'm so very hopeless and lonely. Please come with me.” It wasn't the most elaborate pitch but it was honest.

Louis looked into Harry’s pleading eyes and chuckled, “I can't just get in your car and drive away with you. I don't even know you.”

Harry smiled. Louis had cracked a smile, that was a good sign. “You're right, you don't know me.” 

“Hi, my name is Harry, I’m 19. My favorite color is glitter... uh... I've never eaten a strawberry before,” he sheepishly said, all while he had his hand reached outwards to shake Louis’. Louis hid his smile in his hands. Harry got more excited. 

“My favorite movie is... probably Love Actually, and...” He knew that just a little humor wasn't going to convince Louis. He sighed and swallowed the lump in his throat and continued.

“I lost my mom a year ago and I haven't been happy ever since. That was until you sat here talking to me, so please, come with me.” 


	6. Serendipity

Louis stood there in awe of Harry's words. His first instinct was to say yes, to take him away from here, to let him get lost in Harry's green eyes and forget where he was and what day of the week it was, but that sounded a bit too perfect. And despite being dressed as the boy who never grew up, Louis didn't believe in real life fairytales anymore.

He stood up and began walking back to the bar, brushing right past Harry’s outstretched hand. He turned back to him just long enough to see the hurt and confused expression on Harry’s face.

“Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do. I'm so sorry you lost your mom and it all sounds grand, but I can't get into a car with a stranger and pretend my problems don't exist. I can't keep saying yes to good looking men who want to save me. The last time I did that I ended up in the situation I'm in now. I'm sorry Harry.” 

Harry was, surprisingly, hurt. He was sure that Louis would jump at his offer and they'd drive off with Louis talking about how he’d always wanted to see the grand canyon. It was the first time since his mother died that he had felt alive and ready to find that light she had wanted him to have. But he did admit to himself that it all was moving fast. 

Maybe Louis was right, maybe it was a bad idea. Maybe it would end up a mess and they'd both just be more hurt in the end.  

He made his way to the door, but just before he could leave, he heard Louis humming a familiar tune as he wiped down the bar. The notes drifted into his ears, sending a shiver down his spine. It wasn't your average pop tune, this was a very specific song. One his mother played often while she was cleaning or running errands.The song had become synonymous with her, so when Harry heard it being hummed from Louis mouth it overwhelmed him with emotion. He turned back toward him and asked, “What is that?“ 

Louis looked up at him, wiping away the last of the tears from his face. “What is what?”

Harry pressed and moved back toward the bar. “The song, the one you were humming.”

Louis smiled and shook his head a bit. “Oh, it's this stupid song my mom played all the time on our way to church. I told you I grew up in a religious house. I guess you can take the boy out of church but you can't take the church out of the boy.”

Harry smiled. “My mom used to play that song too.”

Louis looked at him confused but in awe. How could they have been this connected? 

Harry continued, “She’d play it around the house while she cleaned and cooked. She would tie her hair up in a ponytail and do all of her chores. She always put cartoons on for me and made me little snacks. She was my best friend. I just... miss her… so much.”

Louis was speechless. He wasn't sure what to say. There were so many emotions and thoughts flooding his mind. He heard the pain and nostalgia dripping from every word Harry said. He remembered how he felt about his own mother at one point, and he imagined what it would be like to never have the option to make things right. He kept silent as he reflected on all of it.

Harry took Louis’ silence as a sign that he had worn out his welcome. He smiled to the boy one last time and made his way towards the door.  “I'm sorry, I just... that song gets to me everytime.” 

Finally seeing Harry almost vanish through the door made Louis’ senses kick in. 

“Wait... look there's no way this is all just coincidence right...?” He called after Harry.

Louis used to believe in fate, the idea that the right person would walk into his life at the right time. Lately he didn't believe in much of anything, but Harry being there that day, recognizing that song, the whole encounter began to reignite a belief of serendipity he thought was long gone. 

He couldn't do this anymore, he couldn't keep sabotaging his own life. He left home to live, not to work in some shitty pirate bar and get the shit beat out of him by people that hated him. Harry’s kindness and acceptance had been the thing he’d truly longed for when he left home. Why did he have to return to the shitty little life he had fallen into, why couldn't he get lost with Harry? He knew there was a good chance that it could all turn bad ,just like every other endeavor he seemed to take on. Hell he wasn't even sure what this whole arrangement was.But for some reason Louis knew that no matter what happened in the end, saying yes and taking the risk was better than the pain and regret of saying no.

Harry turned around to him.

Louis moved towards him, excited. “I don't have much to offer, but if you still want me to come with you, I'd really like to get the hell out of this place.” 

Harry smiled, “I just need you, we can figure out the rest along the way.” 

Louis took a deep breath and grabbed his bag. He moved from behind the bar and pushed the swinging door to the kitchen open, screaming “Sal, I  _ fucking quit. _ ”

Harry grinned from ear to ear as Louis rushed over to him, holding onto his hat as he ran. 

Louis stood in front of him, looking up at his towering frame with a pensive look on his face.

”Can I trust you?“ 

Harry looked right into Louis’ eyes. He didn't know much but he knew the answer to that question, “Yes. I promise."

Louis nodded his head.  “Ok, then let's go. Take me somewhere new.” 

Harry opened the door, bowing and motioning his hand to let Louis through first.

Louis had never had a door held open for him. This small gesture, even in its simplicity, was the real reason he was leaving. He now knew a boy that held the door open for him, and maybe for the first time in a long time, he felt he was worth it.


	7. Condoms and Credit Cards

The night breeze wafted its way through Louis’ hair. He couldn't even remember the last time he felt this alive.

Harry loved watching Louis enjoy himself. The way he was beaming made Harry feel blissful and brand new. 

As the drive continued, Louis expression changed quickly from happy to thoughtful. 

"Harry.” 

Harry glanced over, letting Louis know he had his attention. Then placed his eyes back to the road.

"What am I gonna do about clothes? I can't walk around dressed like Peter Pan everywhere we go." 

"Well why not? I think it suits you," Harry grinned.

Louis couldn't help but smile. "You must think you're so charming, but all that fake charm isn't helping me with my clothing situation.” He ran his hands through his day old hair, “i need shampoo, cologne, lotion, my laptop. Everything I owned is back there,” Louis said, turning to look behind him as the car stretched further down the road.

"Well, we did rush out in a hurry. If you want, we could run back to your place and grab some of your things." 

Louis looked out at the road ahead of him, and considered going back, but he was worried that if they turned around that they'd get stuck back there for one reason or another. It was irrational but getting in a car with a stranger, driving to nowhere wasn't exactly a rational decision. 

Harry watched Louis' face fall. He could tell that Louis didn't want to go back, and he shouldn't have to.

"Or ...we could stay on the road and get you some clothes and shampoo at a store or something.” 

Louis went over the thought in his head, “I don't have much money, actually I hadn't considered money at all. All I have on me is my phone, my wallet, and some overnight stuff like toothpaste and condoms.” 

Harry’s breath hitched at the mention of condoms. He was terrified and excited at the idea of sex. He hadn't even considered that as a possibility in the last few years, and now this beautiful boy next to him carried condoms around with his toothpaste. Harry was intimidated, but he knew he couldn't show it. 

“Well, that will maybe… might possibly… get you through the night at least,” Harry said, stumbling over his words and trying to pretend that the mention of condoms  hadn't flustered him. If he wasn't driving he'd have face palmed. 

Louis licked his lips, smiling, catching Harry getting nervous. Did condoms really get him flustered?  _ “Only one way to find out,”  _ he thought. He grabbed a handful of them from his bag.

“No way, we have to stop. This won't last just one night,” Louis said, holding them all up then tossing them back into his bag, smirking to himself. 

Harry felt his heart race and his cheeks begin to flush. 

Louis noticed Harry's pale cheeks flush to a soft pink, and realized that he wasn't dealing with the boys from the club. This guy was pure and Louis had a clear choice here. To corrupt, or not to corrupt? Looking over at Harry’s nervous grin he decided immediately not to corrupt, at least not yet.

“I'm sorry, that was sort of rude.” 

“No, it was funny. I'm just shy,” Harry said, clearing his throat,trying to take back the words ‘I'm shy’ , as they felt like the least sexy thing to say at that moment. Wait , was he trying to sound sexy ? Did he know how to be sexy ? Oh god, he was in over his head.

“It's ok, really don't worry about being anything but yourself with me,” Louis said, resting his hand on Harry's arm as he drove. He wanted to change the subject so that Harry was more comfortable. “Money still is going to be a problem, I'll have to find work soon,” Louis said, trying to redirect the conversation.

Harry wasn't sure what to say. His mom had left him quite an inheritance. They were never rich, but his mom had planned for her death. He wasn't sure about the logistics of it all, since his older sister Gemma handled everything. She’d been the strong one. When he left, she had given him a few credit cards, and a bank account number telling him that he’d never have to take a job if he didn't want to, but encouraged him to find a passion and follow it. 

As much as Harry wanted to offer to pay for things, he didn't want Louis to feel awkward with him about money for the whole trip. 

As Harry contemplated telling Louis he’d cover everything, Louis searched his wallet trying to count out the cash he had on him, when he saw that gleaming black card.

“Oh baby, Jackpot!” 

“What is it? What'd you find?”

“I found a way to hit that prick as hard as he let me get hit.” 

Harry just smiled, his hair whipping through the wind as they drove.

“This, Harry, is an Amex black card. Not sure if you're familiar, but let me fill you in. Only the elite can carry these around. It has no limit since it was given to me for emergencies by that asshole.” 

Louis looked down at the card. He’s never once even considered charging anything to it. Teddy had him so strung up that Louis had gone without food before never once considering charging anything. 

Looking down at that gleaming titanium card, he wanted to give Teddy the sinking feeling he had in his empty stomach ,when he’d see the charges piling up on the bill.“Personally, I think this is an emergency. Maybe even a designer emergency.” 

Harry lit up. He'd never do anything like this on his own. He was straight laced, always doing the right thing, terrified of stepping out of line. But, this felt exciting and, dare he say, a little dangerous. 

Louis had this way about him that made Harry want to be a little defiant. Still, the thought of the police handcuffing him and carting him off for theft wouldn't leave his mind. “You aren't worried about him catching you, or sending the police?” 

Louis smiled, “That's the thing about being someone's dirty little secret. They don't want you to be found out. Calling the cops would draw way too much attention. He’ll quietly cancel the card but it will take months and tens of thousands of dollars before he notices. His assistant pays the bills and she’s too afraid of him to speak up about some stupid purchases at a few designer shops.” 

“Well then, I'll stop at the next mall we see.”

Louis was elated. His happiness was so infectious. Harry wanted to tell him how alluring he was, how his smile was like a magnet. The more Harry thought about spilling his fondness out all over Louis, the more he convinced himself that it would only push him away. To Harry, Louis seemed like sand in the wind, if he opened his palm the boy would quickly drift away, swirling, being carried far, far away from him. So Harry held his hand closed tight and kept his feelings to himself. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next 5 chapters are currently in beta and will hopefully be posted soon. Thanks so much for reading , I hope your enjoy <3


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